I enjoy driving. I feel like it's a time when I can clear my head, listen to my music as loud as I want and talk out some things that have crept up into my skull. Just call me Ricky Bobby, cause I wanna go fast. But there are some people out there on my beautifully paved asphalt that really get my goat. The following are things that break my focus from belting out Lady Gaga tunes and make we say aloud 'Are you out of your effing mind?!':
- Bullet hole decals: What are you trying to prove with these stickers? You were shot at? I don't think I'm following. Or maybe it's supposed to be a joke...but I doubt you're that clever.
- Customized license plates: Not only are they unnecessary but did you know there is an additional fee you must pay every time you renew your registration?! Hey 'DADYLTTLGRL' I bet your daddy would be pissed you were just wasting your money on stupid sh*t.
- License plate holders: 'I'd Rather Be Golfing' Well that makes two of us...I'd rather you be golfing than talking on your cell phone and driving below the speed limit in front of me while I'm trying to make it to work.
- Stuffed animals: Self-explanatory.
- Do-it-yourself tint: Have you not seen anyone else bubble this crap on their windows? I can only hope that every self-tinted car I've seen was done before 1999 and will soon be phased out of our society...a girl can dream!
- Crooked bumper-stickers: If you're going to plaster that awful picture of Calvin (from Calvin & Hobbes) taking a piss on the logo of your rival sports team or what have you, at least put the damn thing on straight!
- Beaded seat covers - Do these things even work? Do they serve a purpose? Or did your fat ass fuse the beads into the fabric and you can no longer detach it from the seat?
- Excessive sport paraphernalia - Now I see a lot of this out in San Diego. There is this one car I occasionally see when I get off my exit ramp towards work that has purchase a giant decal to go over the back of their rear SUV window. It's light blue, says CHARGERS and has a couple action shots of players throwing and catching a football. I don't know about you but if your car was decked out in paraphernalia other than MY favorite team I automatically dislike you and furthermore if it IS decked out in paraphernalia of MY favorite team I feel like you're making OUR team and fans as whole look douchey. So just stop.
On the brighter side of things I'd like to give a shout-out to JEEP owners, I must admit it's been awhile since I've seen a decal stating 'It's a JEEP thing, you wouldn't understand'. You're right, I don't understand...I don't understand why you think people care that you drive a JEEP.
HAHA Love this post. My brother Ryan recently saw a bumper sticker that said "Cats + Stuff = Awesome." I don't even know what that meaaannnsss but it's hilarious. I also can't stand crooked bumper stickers. I see this one car on my way to work, and it's a gorgeous sleek black Mercedes... with an effing crooked ass bumper stick right on the paint that says something stupid. You're ruining a $50k car a-hole!!
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